Dream: Christmas in the Mountains

I haven’t recorded a dream in awhile, not that I haven’t had any just none as vivid as this or I haven’t been able to hang on to them long enough to write down.

The dream starts off with me and Arielle driving through the mountains faster than we should have (really it reminded me of a Bond movie), and of course as we go around a curve I see an officer just sitting there waiting waiting to catch a speeder like myself. Keeping my eyes on the winding road ahead I don’t see if he turns on his lights to come after me, but I do realize that the place we are going is just ahead. So turn off the main road onto the driveway of a large cabin. Inside is what appears to be a large Christmas party, I don’t remember much about who was there or who I interacted with. But what I do remember is repeatedly going outside to check on my car. See I was worried that the officer I saw on the road would follow me, and try to find out where I had gone. So kept going back to check on the car and make sure that no cops had shown up. In between the trips outside, I was just hanging out in the main room of this warmly lit cabin. While I was in this room, Pastor Michelle showed up dressed as Mrs. Claus. Again I went to check on the car, and as I was walking out I saw my mom also dressed as Mrs. Claus. It was during one of these trips outside that I saw a cop car come into the parking lot, it went through slowly an then left. Relieved I rejoined the party inside, and decided to explore the outer deck. The deck was pretty interesting, what I remember most was this gigantic Christmas tree off to the right. As I’m walking around it, I hear the familiar voice of my father and as I get closer I see he’s dressed up as Santa Claus doing something with the kids. Oddly I didn’t stay and talk to him, but merely kept walking, just happy that he was there. Back inside my mom pulls me aside and starts telling me about a problem she’s been having with Sam’s school. It seems they put together an end of the year video and for some unknown reason they included budget information. What they included was that my mom had paid something like $300 to the school, and it really embarrassed my mom. She went on to say that it had something to do with Sam’s health insurance. All the time she’s telling me this the feeling of anger was really vivid, anger at the school for embarrassing my mom like this. It was about this time that I woke up, so I don’t know where it was all headed. And trust me I think it’s as weird as you do. But it’s important to remember these kinds of things, so there it is. What’s interesting to me is the three really vivid emotions I went through fear (of the cops), joy (at seeing my dad), and anger (or being upset, at my mom’s ordeal). Don’t know what it all means or even if it has meaning.

Maybe someday I’ll understand.

Dream : Nukes and Violence

This wasn’t just one dream but a series of dreams. It starts off with me living in this apartment that was right next to a Jewish Synagoe. When i say right next to, I mean when I walked out my door I walked right into there worship service. And in order for me to get by, I would press my back against the back wall and creep by as slowly as I could hoping not to be noticed. I’m sorry but I don’t remember more of this one.

My next dream I was in a car, my brother Matt and I were in the back seat (I don’t know who was driving), but as we were going along this green john deere type tractor rams our car hittng the door that Matt had his back to. I tried to warn him but he didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. Again the tractor rammed us, this time a saw that was attached to his tractor came through the window. This went on several times, and as it was going on, I got a good look at the guy driving the green tractor, and I noticed that he was asleep! I don’t know if it was my yelling or what but finally the guy woke up and got control of his machine. With the crisis past we stopped the car at what looked like a rural european town. As we were standing there I noticed off into the distance that same green tractor, and it looked like he was meeting up with a buddy in an orange tractor. I called out to Matt and we headed after the two guys. As we snuck up on them the guy on the green tractor took off, he got by me, but Matt (the football pro tackled him). No sooner had this happened than the other bad guy, the guy from the orange tractor comes out and throws a wrench at Matt and hits him in the head. Angered I tackled the orange tractor guy from behind and started beating him.

My last dream started off with my mom, Sam, and myself flying home. Literally we were flying like you always see superman fly. As we were flying, we flew over Iran, and as we approached you could see plumes of smoke rising from the ground. At first I was excited or happy thinking to myself that Israel or the US had finally taken care of our enemy, but to my horror I found that they were not plumes of smoke from destruction. But rather plumes of smoke from missle launches. Quickly I followed the smoke trail flying on ahead of the rest of my family. Soon I could tell I was over the Mediterainian Sea, and I thought to check out the land of Israel to see if any of the missles had hit there. So I swooped down, but there was no destruction there. I said a quick prayer of thanks, and resumed my search of the missles. I caught up with them somewhere over the Alantic Ocean as I got close I could see that they were red missles and they were destined for my country. When I finally arrived over the US I could see the East and the West coast in flames burnring destruction up and down both coasts. I could see a few gaps along the eastern sea shore, places where bombs had missed or places that God had protected. I then checked on my home state of Tennessee. Thankfully it was clear of damage no bombs had dropped there. We were staying in wooded area in what looked like really fancy cabins, the family was gathered around the tv discussing what was going on, and my mom orders pizza. I guess the delievery guy couldn’t get in, so he calls my mom and tells her what she’s ordered, it was a really long list that I didn’t understand. And she asks me to go meet him and bring the pizza back. As I’m walking through this wooded area to meet the delivery guy, there are all these people going around in circles on what appeared to be scooters or little go carts. Only these weren’t normal go-carts, these things had what looked almost like a peacocks tail only with branches instead of feathers. And there was some crazy lady there trying to sell the carts to anyone passing by. Me being preoccupied with my own thoughts just brushed past her. As I was walking I kept thinking about what was I going to do, should I join the army, but I knew that Arielle wouldn’t want me to go, I knew that she and my family needed my protection. But I had this tug on my heart to fight, so it was a tough decision. And I woke up.

The main theme throughout these dreams seemed to be violence, I don’t know how, but it also tied into the first dream as well, I just can’t remember it. I don’t know what God was trying to tell me about violence, but He’ll show me.

My Journey Pt 2 : Family

It’s funny how life changes. Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about my future family. I proposed to a wonderful woman, who is truly a gift from God. (She said yes, by the way.) Now I worry about how I’ll provide for my future bride and our children. I worry about how I’ll be able to raise Godly children, the same way I was raised. Will I raise my children in such a way that after I’m gone my children will find their strength in God and carry on in a Godly manner? I can only put my trust in God and know that His will, will be done. To find guidance and a path forward I look to my earthly family as well as my heavenly father. As I told you before, at only a few weeks old I was adopted into a family overflowing with love.

My father was a man who loved everyone he came into contact with; good or bad, he loved them just the same. There wasn’t a person he didn’t visit in the hospital or jail. There wasn’t a wedding he didn’t celebrate at or baby dedication he didn’t do. When I was young, my dad’s attention to the things going on in others’ lives was something that I resented. My head knew he was doing the right thing, but a lot of the time my heart wasn’t in sync. As I grew up, our relationship changed from one of just father and son to one more like friends. My best memories are from times when just he and I would do things together, whether it was sporting events, trips around the country, or congregational events. Every year I looked forward to the Passover season because it was a time when my dad would get invited out to churches around the city, and more often then not he would take me or one of my brothers along with him. At these Seders my dad would give his testimony and bring out the strong Messianic message hidden in the story of the exodus. The message was always the same, but it never got old to me. Every once and awhile my dad and I would take trips together. When I was young we went down to Orlando for a conference. It was just he and I in a car for hours. Years later we went to another conference together over in Virginia. This time around I did most of the driving and it was great to do that service for my father. It was during these trips that we had some of our best one-on-one conversations where I learned a lot about who my dad was and hopefully he learned about me. Many of the things I love (Israel, football, God, etc.) were imprinted on me from birth as gifts from my earthly father.

My dad passed away over seven months ago. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. In some ways it could have only happened yesterday. At first his passing didn’t seem real, like it was something happening in a movie, but over the course of time life without my dad has become my reality. I’m so happy that now my dad is whole again, he’s no longer in pain or suffering, but he’s rejoicing with God and my grandma. Trust me when I say that this realization didn’t come easy; God has done an amazing work to finally bring my head and heart into sync on this. When dad passed, a major force in my life was taken out of my life, an amazing amount of regret was left behind, things left unsaid and feelings unexpressed. We had a good relationship, but as with anything in this world it could have been so much better, it could have been so much deeper.

My mother was a woman always in the process of taking care of others, usually me and my brothers. When we were sick she was there, when we were celebrating she was there, when we were crying she was there, and when we were misbehaving she was there to chase us around the house with a large wooden spoon. I can think of thousands of meals we’ve eaten in her kitchen, and I can’t imagine the number of hours she spent working over a hot stove. While our house wasn’t huge, three young boys sure do make a mess, and some how she always managed to keep it clean. I can remember her staying up all night working on one project for school or another. And then for middle school she homeschooled us, and based on our college grades she did a wonderful job. I think between the three boys she’s learned more about football than she ever thought possible. You’d be so surprised or scared sitting next to her at one of our games. She is definitely one of our biggest cheerleaders. On my weekends home from college Mom would always fuss over me, feed me, and send me back with a bag of food. Nothing can make you feel worse than when you go to leave your mom gives you all the money she has in her purse. And she felt bad that it wasn’t more! I cried on quite a few trips back to school. She didn’t need to do that, but she loved me and wanted to bless me. My mom has taught me so many things, how to iron, how to sew, wash dishes, and how to was my clothes. All things my future wife will be pleased to find out. If my father lived out the love of Jesus for us then my mother lives out faithfulness.

I am a blessed man. This truth is worth repeating over and over again, because God has truly blessed me, and it is a theme that you will see through out my life. I’m blessed because I had a Godly Mother and Father to teach me and to raise me up. I could have been adopted by anyone, I could have been adopted into a life of abuse or neglect, but God blessed me with two loving parents, and two brothers who are as unique and diverse as possible. My family had a huge impact on my life and helped me to become the man I am today. I don’t know how to say thank you enough. I love you.

In retrospect, I don’t need to worry about these things. Throughout my life we have always been dependant on God to provide, and I never gone without something that I needed. And if I can follow the example of my earthly parents, I’m sure that my children will be raised to follow God. Don’t get me wrong, my folks were not perfect; my dad would be the first to tell you that. But where they failed, where they stumbled, God intervened, God covered them in His grace and it worked out for His glory. My hope, my faith, and my trust are in Him and through Him I can do all things!