Me the Warrior.

Matthew 11:12 (New Living Translation)

12 And from the time John the Baptist began preaching until now, the Kingdom of Heaven has been forcefully advancing,[a] and violent people are attacking it.

I always daydreamed about being this great action hero (You know Rambo, Batman, Superman all rolled into one). In my head I can see myself as this vicious fighter. Take no prisoners kind of guy. If you know me, that’s definitely the opposite from who I am on the outside. But it has always been my dream.

I know in my head and especially in my hear that I’m called to be a Mighty Warrior for God, but I’ve really struggled with putting it into practice. So when I came across this post by Seth Barnes, it really was right on with how I want to be.

“Look, hell, you may have taken my loved one away. You may have robbed me of something I held dear. You may have marked me for destruction, but I sure as heck (go ahead and say “hell” if you’re feeling particularly righteous) am not going to sit here and take it! I am going to fight you for what God has given me. Society may place a premium on being nice and looking proper, but I don’t have any more room in my life for nice! I will fight you tooth and nail for what is mine, and furthermore, now that you’ve riled me up, I will exact a price for this. Where I’ve been complacent, I will start putting on the Ephesians 6 armor. Where I’ve been passive, I will start praying warfare prayers. Instead of sleeping in, I’m going to start getting up early and praising God. I’ve had it – I’m not going to sit still any longer! I know there’s a warrior’s spirit in me somewhere, and I intend to summon it up!”

I’m going to focus on this for awhile, and try to begin to walk it out.

Dream: Christmas in the Mountains

I haven’t recorded a dream in awhile, not that I haven’t had any just none as vivid as this or I haven’t been able to hang on to them long enough to write down.

The dream starts off with me and Arielle driving through the mountains faster than we should have (really it reminded me of a Bond movie), and of course as we go around a curve I see an officer just sitting there waiting waiting to catch a speeder like myself. Keeping my eyes on the winding road ahead I don’t see if he turns on his lights to come after me, but I do realize that the place we are going is just ahead. So turn off the main road onto the driveway of a large cabin. Inside is what appears to be a large Christmas party, I don’t remember much about who was there or who I interacted with. But what I do remember is repeatedly going outside to check on my car. See I was worried that the officer I saw on the road would follow me, and try to find out where I had gone. So kept going back to check on the car and make sure that no cops had shown up. In between the trips outside, I was just hanging out in the main room of this warmly lit cabin. While I was in this room, Pastor Michelle showed up dressed as Mrs. Claus. Again I went to check on the car, and as I was walking out I saw my mom also dressed as Mrs. Claus. It was during one of these trips outside that I saw a cop car come into the parking lot, it went through slowly an then left. Relieved I rejoined the party inside, and decided to explore the outer deck. The deck was pretty interesting, what I remember most was this gigantic Christmas tree off to the right. As I’m walking around it, I hear the familiar voice of my father and as I get closer I see he’s dressed up as Santa Claus doing something with the kids. Oddly I didn’t stay and talk to him, but merely kept walking, just happy that he was there. Back inside my mom pulls me aside and starts telling me about a problem she’s been having with Sam’s school. It seems they put together an end of the year video and for some unknown reason they included budget information. What they included was that my mom had paid something like $300 to the school, and it really embarrassed my mom. She went on to say that it had something to do with Sam’s health insurance. All the time she’s telling me this the feeling of anger was really vivid, anger at the school for embarrassing my mom like this. It was about this time that I woke up, so I don’t know where it was all headed. And trust me I think it’s as weird as you do. But it’s important to remember these kinds of things, so there it is. What’s interesting to me is the three really vivid emotions I went through fear (of the cops), joy (at seeing my dad), and anger (or being upset, at my mom’s ordeal). Don’t know what it all means or even if it has meaning.

Maybe someday I’ll understand.

I am a desperate man.

I am in desperate need. Lord hear my prayer.

I am desperate for your Grace.

I am desperate for your Strength.

I am desperate for your Wisdom.

All I have to offer in return is my life. If I had more that I could give, I would.

I pray that my sacrifice is pleasing to you.

My Lord, Master, and Savior, here I am your humble servant.

Thank you Lord for pouring out your grace, your strength, and your wisdom in abundance.

Thank you Lord for pouring out blessings and favor beyond all imagination.